Soli Deo Gloria

Joy

2009-03-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from Christianity and Liberalism--a book that was written in 1923 but speaks with profound relevance to us today.

"Joy is indeed being sought by the modern liberal Church. But it is being sought in ways that are false. How may communion with God be made joyful? Obviously, we are told, by emphasizing the comforting attributes of God--His long-suffering, His love. Let us, it is urged, regard Him not as a moody Despot, not as a sternly righteous Judge, but simply as a loving Father. Away with the horrors of the old theology! Let us worship a God in whom we can rejoice.

Two questions arise with regard to this method of making religion joyful--in the first place, Does it work? and in the second place, Is it true?

Does it work? It certainly ought to work. How can anyone be unhappy when the ruler of the universe is declared to be the loving Father of all men who will never permanently inflict pain upon His children ? Where is the sting of remorse if all sin will necessarily be forgiven? Yet men are strangely ungrateful. After the modern preacher has done his part with all diligence--after everything unpleasant has carefully been eliminated from the conception of God, after His unlimited love has been celebrated with the eloquence that it deserves--the congregation somehow persistently refuses to burst into the old ecstasies of joy. The truth is, the God of modern preaching, though He may perhaps be very good, is rather uninteresting. Nothing is so insipid as indiscriminate good humor. Is that really love that costs so little? If God will necessarily forgive, no matter what we do, why trouble ourselves about Him at all? Such a God may deliver us from the fear of hell. But His heaven, if He has any, is full of sin.

The other objection to the modern encouraging idea of God is that it is not true. How do you know that God is all love and kindness? Surely not through nature, for it is full of horrors. Human suffering may be unpleasant, but it is real, and God must have something to do with it. Just as surely not through the Bible. For it was from the Bible that the old theologians derived that conception of God which you would reject as gloomy. "The Lord thy God," the Bible says, "is a consuming fire." Or is Jesus alone your authority? You are no better off. For it was Jesus who spoke of the outer darkness and the everlasting fire, of the sin that shall not be forgiven either in this age or in that which is to come. Or do you appeal, for your comforting idea of God, to a twentieth-century revelation granted immediately to you? It is to be feared that you will convince no one but yourself.

Religion cannot be made joyful simply by looking on the bright side of God. For a one-sided God is not a real God, and it is the real God alone who can satisfy the longing of our soul. God is love, but is He only love? God is love, but is love God? Seek joy alone, then, seek joy at any cost, and you will not find it. How then may it be attained?

The search for joy in religion seems to have ended in disaster. God is found to be enveloped in impenetrable mystery, and in awful righteousness; man is confined in the prison of the world, trying to make the best of his condition, beautifying the prison with tinsel, yet secretly dissatisfied with his bondage, dissatisfied with a merely relative goodness which is no goodness at all, dissatisfied with the companionship of his sinful fellows, unable to forget his heavenly destiny and his heavenly duty, longing for communion with the Holy One. There seems to be no hope; God is separate from sinners; there is no room for joy, but only a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation.

Yet such a God has at least one advantage over the comforting God of modern preaching--He is alive, He is sovereign, He is not bound by His creation or by His creatures, He can perform wonders. Could He even save us if He would? He has saved us--in that message the gospel consists. It could not have been foretold; still less could the manner of it have been foretold. That Birth, that Life, that Death-- why was it done just thus and then and there? It all seems so very local, so very particular, so very unphilosophical, so very unlike what might have been expected. Are not our own methods of salvation, men say, better thanthat? "Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel?" Yet what if it were true? "So, the All-Great were the All-Loving too"-- God's own Son delivered up for us all, freedom from the world, sought by philosophers of all the ages, offered now freely to every simple soul, things hidden from the wise and prudent revealed unto babes, the long striving over, the impossible accomplished, sin conquered by mysterious grace, communion at length with the holy God, our Father which art in heaven!

Surely this and this alone is joy."

Oh, the glorious love of God

2009-03-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Haha...I haven't posted for a while. This is something I wrote in my journal earlier this week.

Do I look at the cross and think, "That was so good of you, Jesus, but not really necessary." I wouldn't tell someone I believe this--I know theology well enough. But does my life and my attitude--my practical theology--show it?

The offense of the cross is that it shows us how unworthy of love we are. Someone had to die for our own dirty sins.

Yet the beauty of the cross is that he does love us that much. Not because we're worthy, but simply because he loves us. It seems like foolish love, to die for an enemy; but not if you are able to make that enemy into a friend and a lover...to make that whore into a bride in white...to make that selfish snob into a humble, generous giver of life.

His love is of a sort that tears us down by destroying our presumption of self-sufficiency so that he can build us up into something truly beautiful--something that he truly delights in and which is somehow worthy of him.

"Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or blemish."
Ephesians 5:25-27

Unite my heart to fear Your name, O God of undeserved Love.

2008-07-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

Here are some A. W. Tozer quotes I read today, followed by some of my own thoughts.

"It is a strange and beautiful ecentricity of the free God that He has allowed His heart to be emotionally identified with men. Self-sufficient as He is, He wants our love and will not be satisfied till He gets it. Free as He is, He has let His heart be bound to us forever."

"No man with a trace of humility would first think that he is a friend of God; but the idea did not originate with men. Abraham would never have said, "I am God's friend," but God Himself said that Abraham was His friend."

It is a wondrous thing that God would stoop down and choose to love us. What do we have that He lacks? What could attract Him to us? We are dust, and He is the Almighty, Transcendent, Infinite, Living God. Yet He not only chose to save us, He also loves us and delights in those who are His. What a magnificent truth!

Too many people, myself included, fail to realize how incredible this is. We come to God so casually. We easily call Him our friend and assume He is on our side. We make Him our equal, if not smaller. To many people, He is no more than a means to an end (to look spiritual, to prosper, etc.). To many, He is not a Living Being, but only a philosophical theory. A friend of mine wrote, "God is ONLY a thought to us." Oh, how I fear for his soul.

Many who call themselves Christians today worship a small God, one who is good and loving and many other things, but he is just a part of life. A god who fits in our pockets and whom we can take out and put away as we please. We worship him at our convenience and leave him out of our personal agendas. So many people are just presuming on His grace, that God is too loving to do anything bad to "pretty good people" like themselves. But they are storing up wrath for themselves. (Romans 2:4-5)

Where is the fear of God? Where is our reverence?

Even for me, a person who has for a long time honestly desired to please God and find all my joy in Him, I have so often lacked reverence and so often forgotten how Holy He is compared to me. This week I was struck in 1 Timothy with the words "the living God." When I pray, do I really realize that I am talking to a living Being? Do I live life every day acknowledging His presence? So often I fail to do so.

This is my earnest prayer, as I think about these things: "Unite my heart to fear your name." Psalm 86:11. In its deepest place, my heart does fear the Lord. I know He is high and exalted. His love is deeper than I could ever comprehend, and the fact that He even cares to know my name is incredible, even breathtaking. Yet my heart also has hard places that doubt Him, doubt His word, want what I want rather than what He wants, and often believe the lie that something else is of more worth than God.

My heart has been regenerated by the Holy Spirit, but He is still at work in it. I am divided, inconsistent, and unfaithful. But He remains faithful to me always, for He cannot deny Himself. We have a sacred covenant that He will never break. He is my Husband, and though I am not as faithful as I would like to be, He delights in a humble, broken heart. He loves me and sings over me.

There are no more words for this post. I don't have words beautiful enough to convey the magnificence of the kindness He has shown in Christ Jesus. Brothers and sisters, Praise Him in humility, reverence, and great joy.

Treasure

2008-06-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

Luke 12:32-34 "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Psalm 16:11 "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

We naturally seek after things that won't last. Food. Clothing. Money. Thrills. All of these things will fail us. If we are a little wiser we pursue human relationships. Yet, even they will not last. We are all prone to death. What can we pursue and treasure that will never fail or fade away?

Praise God! He has shown us the way to a treasure that is far more valuable and cannot be destroyed. He himself is our treasure, and our lasting inheritance is in heaven.

When I read the Luke passage above, these questions came to mind. Examine yourself, and see where your treasure lies. If your bank account suddenly disappeared, would you still have your treasure? If you lost your job or got kicked out of school, would you still have your treasure? If you lost your family or your best friend betrayed you, would you have something to hang onto? If your reputation was absolutely shredded, would your treasure remain?

I just feel like making a new post

2008-05-15T21:49:00.001-07:00

That's all. I just want a new post here on my blog. It's been too long. And it's late at night and I'm done with finals and for once I don't really have anything important to do right now. So, I shall post a post on my blog.

I like the word amalgamation

2007-05-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Haha...I kind of forgot about those stories and pictures I promised last time. This blog will be an amalgamation of random photos.
A few pictures from Guatemala first...This is Fernando, one of my favorites

Here are some of the kids in the LifeTenderMercies home (They all have HIV)

A girl at VBS

Again, kids at LifeTenderMercies

All of us ladies about to leave for a Guatemalan church service

Me and Mishel

We ate at a really cool Guatemalan restaurant
This is Agua, a huge volcano, and the beautiful city of Antigua

This was one of the most beautiful places I've been

VBS again. This gives you an idea of how many kids there were

This is from the Spring Banquet, which was on May 4

As we waited to be seated we had some fun taking pictures in our pretty dresses

Caroline and Charity

Here are some other good friends of mine: Sarah, Alyssa, and Lea

The tulips on campus--Northwestern is gorgeous in the spring!

These geese live outside our window. They're around all the time!

Oh, spring banquet again...taking pictures in the bathroom...

This is me with my roommate Sarah

Here's most of my hall at an indoor soccer game a while back

Oh, and Aaron Espe, can't forget him. I recruited some new fans from NWC when he played in St. Paul in March.

This is at kids club at Living Hope Ministries. I work there every Wed. night. Next to me is Elizabeth, a co-teacher for the 10-11 year olds, and these are some of our girls, Natasha and Lois

One of them wanted to take a picture of me...

Susie Shellenberger spoke in chapel last week. It was fun to meet her.

Ok, so there are a few somewhat random snippets from my life...Now I must return to my 20-page paper. The semester is almost over! I'm coming home the 15th.

My Trip to Guatemala

2007-03-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where to start. So much has inspired and challenged me in the past three or four weeks. But I guess I'll start with my mission trip.

On Spring Break I left with 15 other Northwestern students to go to Guatemala. Last fall when I decided to go on this trip, I only knew one person who was on the team, but now I feel like we're all sort of a family because of our common experience.

We worked with a missionary couple named Dave and Becky at their LifeHomes. They have started three of these LifeHomes, which are sort of like orphanages. These are a refuge for children who have been abandoned, abused, orphaned, and drug-addicted. One of the homes is specifically for children who have HIV or AIDS. The children get to experience the love of Christ in a situation similar to a family.
Much of what we did each day involved simply building relationships with the kids. One of the LifeHomes is for boys ages 11-17. These boys would often help with our work projects after school. We also played soccer with them, had two bonfires with them, and led devotions about the fruit of the Spirit each night. We all miss these boys a lot! It was interesting to try to communicate with them, since we knew very little Spanish and many of them knew very little English. There were a lot of thumb wars and hand-clapping games. We were all impressed that they knew some Switchfoot, DC Talk, and Jars of Clay songs, and our group leader Justin played these on his guitar for us. Some of the boys did know English though, and that was a great help, as one of them was able to translate for us during devotions each night.

I spent several of my days working in the LifeTenderMercies Home, where several children with HIV live. I fell in love with these kids more than any of the others. They just need love so much, and they have so much love to offer.

We also did several work projects while we were there. The girls switched off with painting to complete several rooms. The guys (and sometimes girls) did some electrical work and mixed cement to build some stairs outside and to work on a wall around the property.

We also ministered to the community (and they ministered to us!) through a Vacation Bible School and 2 church visits. We had about 150 kids show up for VBS from the surrounding villages, dressed in their traditional Guatemalan clothes. We sang some songs (in Spanish), did a skit/puppet show and a Bible lesson, helped the kids make bracelets (with fruit beads to remind them of the fruit of the Spirit), and then just hung out with them, playing futbol, or in my case just letting the kids be fascinated with my digital camera. After a while I was able to take advantage of the Duck-duck-goose shirt that I was wearing. I pointed to the ducks and the goose to find out what words to use in order to play the game. It was great fun. One of my favorite parts of VBS were seeing the moms watching their kids. Some of them came and made bracelets for themselves too. I was glad that they were so appreciative of us, and it was good that they heard the gospel too. And my other favorite part was when the kids had to go, almost all of them would say Adios and hug every one of us goodbye. Oh, it was so cute!!

We also visited two churches. At each one, three of us shared testimonies and one shared a sermon (through our translator Roberto). We also sang some songs in English and Spanish. The night before the first church, I was asked to prepare my testimony to share. Somehow I just knew that if God wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, he would have me give my testimony. It actually wasn't bad at all. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. I talked about my struggles with lack of confidence and with complacency and encouraged the people to pursue God with all their heart. The other speakers spoke about similar things (though we hadn't planned it) and at the end I think about 20 people came forward to show that they desired a closer relationship with God. It was great to lay our hands on them and pray for them, even if they didn't understand our language as we prayed.

Another thing that meant a lot to me on this trip was the teaching. Just about every morning and every evening, one of the missionaries would spend an hour (or more) teaching us from the Word and from their own testimonies. This was challenging at times, because I was forced to think about what I believe and why I believe it. They are very charismatic in their beliefs, which I am not used to. I was glad that they didn't try to push anything on us, but they told us what they believed and why and told us to search it out for ourselves. This was so good for me! And though since then I have found points of disagreement with things they taught, there was definitely a lot of truth to it, and our whole team benefited a lot from all they taught us. I learned a lot about faith and the Holy Spirit and the power we have as Christians--especially through their many testimonies of healings and other miraculous things they've experienced. (Maybe I can mention some of these later on.)
Every day we were "forced" to spend one hour alone with God. This was so wonderful!! Just sitting on a Guatemalan mountainside away from everything and seeking God and seeking Truth...It was a good time to rejuvenate and draw closer to God, but it also forced me to really dig deep into scripture and decide what I believe. I came back from the trip with a lot of questions, but this has been very good: as I continue to seek answers, I find that God is faithful to give us wisdom and help us understand his word. My time with God was so vital that it was almost a no-brainer by the end of the trip: I needed to spend this time with God every single day. I didn't know if I could accomplish a full hour every day, but I committed to it. The beautiful thing was that 2 days after we got back, we had a chapel speaker here at Northwestern who challenged the students to that very thing: spend an hour each day alone with God. It's so exciting to see that others are being changed, and that we can keep each other accountable.

Speaking of that, the relationships built on this trip were so good! I didn't know any of these people before we signed up for the mission team, but now we are all really good friends. Whenever we see each other (even now, over 2 weeks later) we pretty much freak out and hug each other. I'm so thankful to have these friends (all of whom are upperclassmen that I probably wouldn't have met otherwise), and it's great for us to be able to keep each other accountable so this won't be a mountaintop experience that soon levels out into a valley, but we can stay on fire for God for a long time.

So that's my mission trip...A long post, I know, but there's more to come--Hopefully some pictures and stories next time.

And since I don't have time to tell you all my exciting insights from Desiring God by John Piper, why don't you all just read it for yourselves? :) good stuff

Guatemala photos!

2007-03-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

God keeps doing great things!
I just got back from my mission trip to Guatemala. I'll write more about it later, but for now you can see some of my pictures. I'll post more of them later too.
http://nwc.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2014029&id=110902461&saved

A prayer

2007-02-07T22:10:00.003-08:00

From A.W. Tozer's book The Pursuit of God. (with slightly updated pronouns because I like them better)

O God, I have tasted Your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want You. I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Your glory, I pray, so that I may know You indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow You up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen.

True Compassion

2007-02-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

Hey again. I'm back to tell you a little more of what God's been doing in my life and people around me. First of all, I want to praise God for the relationships he's given to me: the many good friends I have and am growing closer to here at college, my family back home who I get to talk to on the phone fairly often, the girl I'm mentoring long-distance over the phone (I love Amanda!), and the older friends that I still get to keep in touch with. The first couple of weeks here I had a hard time trying to sort out who to spend my time with now that I was no longer dating, and I felt sorry for myself that I didn't have the close relationships that I wanted. After a while I came to my senses and realized that I had been waiting for others to come to me and picking and choosing who I wanted to be friends with. Instead, I should realize that friendships are not a selfish endeavor. I should be friends to those who need friends, not just those who I think are the coolest, nicest people. And I should not expect others to expend more effort than I do. Anyway, it all comes down to the fact that my wants are not that important.

I thought I had learned this lesson, but I was in for a surprise. God continued to expound on the idea of loving people different from me and having real compassion.

In one chapel and two of my classes last week, we talked quite a bit about multi-culturalism. These discussions reminded me of my tendency to gravitate toward people like me, rather than those I perceive as very different (whether by race, gender, background, or appearance). I think everyone has this tendency to some extent. It is important to keep it in check because (1)we can learn a lot from people different from us, and (2) in the church it is vitally important that we reach out to every culture and every type of person.

So, I was thinking about these things, and I was filling out an application to work at Bluewater this summer (I don't know yet if that's what I'll do, but it's a possibility). One of the hard questions was "what do you consider to be your strongest character quality?" Man, I don't know. When I start thinking about it, none of my character qualities seem that strong. I put down compassion, thinking about my sponsor child and my passion for the poverty of the Third World, the AIDS pandemic, and other things. But I wondered, am I really compassionate? Maybe it's easier to care for people and their problems when all I have to do is send a check in the mail. Do I really have compassion for the real people I encounter every day?

On Friday night I was convicted of just how far I have to go in the area of compassion.
There's a group on campus that works with the homeless every Friday night, and I decided to join them for the first time. We went to two homeless shelters, serving food, talking with the people, and listening with them to testimonies, sermons, etc. We also were encouraged constantly by the woman who leads it to be praying, another thing that impacted me. When we were done at these shelters, we set out in some vehicles and looked around the city to see if any people were actually staying outside that night. It was probably about 30 degrees below zero with wind chill. (There were signs on campus that warned as little as five minutes of exposure could cause frostbite!) So we brought blankets, scarves, coats, and whatever other donated materials we had so we could offer them to people that were living outside in this weather.
Being outside for about fifteen minutes in that weather was almost unbearable. I could not imagine what it would be like to sleep out there. But we did find people out there, about 5 or 6 of them camped out under an overpass. At first it seemed they didn't want to accept much from us. But we gave them some food and several scarves, which they appreciated. We gave them a couple of coats. One of them asked if we had any gloves. We all relayed the message back: did anyone have any gloves among the donated things? I don't know if there were or not. The guy said he wouldn't take them off of anyone's hands; he'd buy some later. All along I had been thinking about my mittens, my warm, beautiful mittens that match my hat and scarf that my roommate gave me for my birthday. I rationalized that they were probably too girly for these guys. After a while, my friend Melissa take off her mittens and handed them over. The guy didn't see that they had been hers, and gratefully accepted them.

Perhaps this wasn't a great sacrifice for her. But I was stunned at how much I rationalized clinging to my possessions instead of offering something that was so obviously needed. Though I've never considered myself materialistic, I realized that I am far too attached to the things I own. I am also generally far too focused on myself. I was glad for the experience Friday night that helped me see how incredibly blessed I am.

After mulling all these things over in my mind, I checked out Tyler's blog. The drawing he posted was so relevant to what I was thinking about. Check it out.

Thank you for reading all the way through. I hope this will spur you on to not be complacent. We need to love more than just the people we like. (Matt. 5:46-48)Biblical love is not a feeling, but an action. It takes a lot of effort and sacrifice. Join with me in striving to see people through God's eyes and loving others as if they were Jesus himself. (Matt. 25:31-46)

2007-02-03T12:13:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a week this has been! Hallelujah! God has done so much in me that I'm sure I'll miss something in this blog, but that's ok. I am just so alive and I have joy in God that I haven't had for a while. I've learned some important things and been convicted by the Holy Spirit several times this week, and I've seen and experienced some pretty cool things too.
Where do I start? Ah, what the heck, let's just do a random order.
I'm doing a book study with my hall on A.W. Tozer's Pursuit of God. I really look forward to reading all of it, but even just the intro and first chapter have been really good for me. First I was reminded by my RA of a sermon by C.S. Lewis called the "Weight of Glory." Let me quote some of it:

...If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

I read this a couple years ago and then a couple months ago and then a couple weeks ago. Every time it hit me again. We are far too easily pleased. The church settles for program instead of worship. Christians settle for "accepting Christ" and then going on with their lives however they want, instead of pursuing him and finding out that he is exactly what they really need. He is the one thing that humanity desires without realizing it.
Here's a quote that I liked from Tozer's book:

There is today no lack of Bible teachers to set forth correctly the
principles of the doctrines of Christ, but too many of these seem satisfied to teach the fundamentals of the faith year after year, strangley unaware that there is in their ministry no manifest Presence, nor anything unusual in their personal lives. They minister constantly to believers who feel within their breasts a longing which their teaching simply does not satisfy.

And another quote:

How tragic that we in this dark day have had our seeking done for us by our teachers. Everything is made to center upon the initical act of "accepting" Christ (a term, incidentally, which is not found in the Bible) and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls.

To desire God. That's what life is about. We talked about how a lot of people look forward to heaven to see people they love who have died. But that won't be the point in heaven. We will be drinking in God's presence and worshipping him for eternity. That is what heaven is. But if people don't desire God on earth, what do they have to look forward to in heaven? Yes, we have sin in the way now, but my point is that God is what we should desire now. God is all that is good wrapped up in one magnificent being.
But many Christians don't live that way today. Perhaps this is because a lot of churches focus on the outreach and do very little with discipleship--growing like Christ, growing closer to him, and becoming mature enough to disciple others. (We talked about this in my Intro to Ministry class the morning after we talked about it in Bible Study.) Let's look at some stats about the American church today: 4 out of 5 belivers say that having a deep growing faith is a top priority. BUT only 20% mention anything directly spritual as the most important thing they want to accomplish in life. And some stats from the WallStreet Journal said that 26% of born-again Christians don't believe that the particular religion someone lives by really matters because they all teach basically the same thing, 52% don't believe in the Holy Spirit, and 56% don't believe in Satan. Wow. Yeah, I know statistics can be misleading sometimes, but if these are even close to correct, there are some problems. I would love to discuss all the eight roots of the problem that we discussed in class, but this is getting really long. I guess I'll just say that I am realizing how important it is for the future of the church that we are discipling people. How about another random quote. Cal Thomas (I don't really know who that is) said:

The problem in our culture isn't the abortionists. It isn't the pornographers or drug dealers or criminals. It is the undisciplined, undiscipled, disobedient and biblically ignorant Church of Christ.

Keep this in mind my friends. We must intentionally witness to people and intentionally walk alongside believes to encourage, equip, and challenge each other toward maturity in Christ. This includes equipping the disciple to equip others as well.

So, this is already really long. I have a lot more to say, but I should probably do a little homework. So chew on this and come back later. Hopefully I can tell you about some other exciting things that are on my mind.

2007-01-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry to all of my faithful readers. (all 4 of you?) I have all but ignored the blog world for a long time. So much has happened, and I have grown so much since the last time I posted. I guess I didn't post because I was extremely busy with all my schoolwork, but more so because I was going through an internal struggle that I could not post on the internet. A struggle for my feelings to be what I wanted them to be. Richard and I broke up a week ago. It was a mutual decision, and we are still friends. The first day or two I took pretty hard, but after that, it's been ok. Seeing how God has worked through our year of dating to bring both of us closer to him has been wonderful. I came to realize that breaking up isn't a bad thing. Dating isn't pointless when it doesn't end in marriage. I still have a good friend who knows me very well, some great memories, some not-so-great memories, and a closer relationship with my God than I would have otherwise. So here is a new beginning. It's a little scary and a little weird, but I'm excited for what God has in store. Lately I'm just captivated by the beauty God has created all around me. I like to think of them as his ways of romancing me---showing me how much he loves me and desires me to draw closer to him. So I have posted some pictures of the beauty I have seen in the past months. (I couldn't get the pictures to go at the end. Can someone tell me how to do that? I also can't figure out why my text got underlined and won't go back.)

This is more important than homework (or so I tell myself)

2006-09-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I've wanted to for so long...There's so much I want to say. But there's never time (and really there still isn't!) But now I'm at college (crazy) and I'm already learning and growing and being stretched and trying new things. I love it here...except when I get really stressed out about my classes. It's crazy--one moment I can be perfectly fine, then the same day I am terribly stressed out, and then later I feel perfectly fine again even though nothing drastic has happened to change it. Oh well. Right now I'm not so stressed out so I don't feel so bad about doing this instead of homework.
God has taught me and showed me so much this summer and since I got to school. Two books were really good: Revolution in World Missions by KP Yohanan, and Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. In some ways they really modified my thinking, but mostly they gave me more focus on what matters in this life and this world. I've also grown just by being here with so many Christians all around me all the time and worshipping God every day and learning about him in classes and praying with my roommates (who are amazing!). When I got here I had to lose my proud mindset I've had for so long that I'm some really great Christian with all the answers. I realized that I am small and weak and not perfect and that I can learn a lot from others. Since I got here, I have become more focused on God. I desire a closer relationship with God, but sometimes not enough. So I'm praying every day for balance in my relationships, schoolwork, other activities, and my relationship with God.
School has been hard too though. My Honors Comp II class just terrifies me sometimes (of course other times I'm excited about it). We have to do an argumentative research paper on a topic in our field of study, and really I should already have a topic, but I'm not entirely sure yet...it doesn't help that I haven't decided on a field of study (though I'm starting to narrow down my choices of major). But I want to do my paper on missions--more specifically evangelizing the people who have never heard the name of Christ before. I also want to tie in the responsibility of American Christians to support missions to the unreached. One thing I am passionate about is giving to those people who need it most. And we could have such a huge impact on the world if we would simply give our money to missionaries--especially to those who already live in the country and are going out to their own people. We are so richly blessed; we should joyfully give all we can to fulfill one of our greatest purposes on earth: the Great Commission. We should also be giving to the poor, both here around us and in far-away countries. My challenge to you and to me is to think carefully about how you spend your money, give when you feel compelled to give, and trust God to provide for you. Take a risk with your money (or maybe your possessions or time or talents) and let God multiply it and give you a blessing in return. Store up treasures for yourself in heaven instead of doing everything you want and buying everything you want on earth.
I realize this is coming across kind of "sermonesque." But I guess this is what God has been showing me and giving me a passion about. You may have very little to give, but you still have more than that child in Africa who doesn't have clean water or that missionary in India who can't afford shoes. And even if you have nothing to give, you can still have an attitude of stewardship--that all you have belongs to God and you will use it for his glory.
This post wasn't planned out, so I'm just going to randomly put this here: tonight I heard a statistic saying that it would take about $20 billion to bring the world out of poverty--that's about how much Americans spend on icecream every year. (Don't quote me on that--I don't know if I remembered it exactly right or who came up with that statistic. The point is that we live in great wealth compared to the rest of the world. Don't take if for granted, and don't become a lover of money.)

So, there's my great juxtaposition of thoughts for you. All my companions in the blogging world, I would love to hear what God is doing in your lives. I miss so many people so much, but I'm excited that my friends and I are now spread out in manhy different areas, and God can use us there and teach us great things.

falling in love

2006-08-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

I just read my friend Sarah's blog, and it kind of goes along with something I've been learning/feeling lately. Check it out at http://itsaboutgod.blogspot.com/2006/08/i-want-to-get-married.html
It's about falling in love with God. I realized a couple weeks ago that this is something I have lost the focus on. I'm used to hearing people talking about having a relationship with God and that only God will fulfill you. Even I have been saying things like this to my campers all summer. But it's so easy let those familiar words go in one ear and out the other and to slip into living Christianity as a religion instead of a relationship. Not that I've lost the relationship, but my relationship has been more of a servant/master, sheep/shepherd, or father/daughter relationship at best. I've forgotten about God's amazing gift of an intimate relationship with him. The fact that God made it possible for me to grow closer and closer and closer to him.

I am right now falling in love with an amazing human being, and it is a beautiful thing. How much more beautiful it must be to fall head over heels in love with the Almighty God! That is my goal, my pursuit. God is infinitely greater than anything or anyone on earth. How foolish it would be to love anything or anyone more than the one who created you, cares for you, and died for you even though you've done countless things to hurt him. How foolish to love anyone more than the creator of love and beauty. And how foolish to say that you love someone and never talk to him or get to know him.

I'll write more later, but now I have to go. I have a date with Jesus.

Photos

2006-07-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

Here's some past due graduation photos.

Some cool people at Nancy and Sarah's open house
My Richard and me

My Emily and me at my open house
Greta...she's a good friend, but I haven't seen her since graduation
Annie came to my open house, but was unable to come out of her car. I was so happy to see this great woman who used to babysit me in the church nursery every Wednesday night when I was little. She still thinks of me in her old age. For those of you who know her, she could use some prayer...
Who knew you could fit so many highschoolers on one slide? I think if you click on the picture it will be bigger.
My outrageously good-looking family after graduation

Denver Mission trip

2006-07-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

I only have a few minutes to write this post because I soon have to leave for yet another camp. I want to write about my mission trip to Denver with YouthWorks. It really was an awesome experience. The crew I was in worked the first two days at the Denver Rescue mission, a homeless shelter and rehabilitation center. It was a really different experience to see so many homeless people just sleeping on the concrete sidewalks and coming in to eat. I saw the power of drugs to pull people in so badly that they own nothing and have no friends and yet don't even recognize they have a problem. These people have so many places they can go to get help, but they don't want help. They want to get high. They want to get rid of the effects of withdrawal. Many of them would use any money they got to buy drugs or alcohol instead of the clothes and food and many other things they need. However, there are people who do realize they need help. I met some of them at the Denver Rescue mission. I realized that the power of the gospel and faith and the Holy Spirit is much stronger than the grip of Satan or any drug. It totally transforms lives- like the life of the man we met who had been in prison for 13 years and now lives a full life in Christ and plans to start a Christian halfway house for people like him who get out of jail after a long time. I also experienced the transforming power of God firsthand. At a youth service at a really different inner city church, one of the kids from our church accepted Christ for the first time. God had put it on my heart the night before to pray for him and write him a note, and he worked in such an amazing way to save him that night. After he had accepted Christ, his eyes were opened. He told me he actually could feel Jesus' arms around him and as he prayed, he actually got answers that he never would have thought of on his own. His old temptations didn't have much of a grip on him anymore. He had a conversation with my sister in which God truly spoke through both of them and showed his power. And this kid who a few days before had been angry at God now was talking to him every five minutes and seeing how he was working out everything for his good. It was so beautiful to see God at work. I had prayed on the way out there for God to make himself real to me because I had a hard time really believing that he had the power he said he did. But God totally answered that prayer, and it's exciting to see!
When I'm home again for a while, I'll post some pictures.

2006-06-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write a nice long post about my mission trip to Denver (IT WAS AWESOME!) But I have to go to camp right now to counsel at Jr. High camp. Pray that that goes well, and I'll write (hopefully) when I get back!

Graduation, and then some more important stuff

2006-06-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hey. Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Since my last post I graduated and did all sorts of fun stuff. It's a little sad to say goodbye to so many friends--there are so many cool people that I may never really see again. But I know my closest friends will still be there and that means a lot. I never cried, though I get a little moody thinking about it.
But anyway, last night came a big blow. My mom got a phone call at 11:30 and she got all of us in the living room so she could tell us all together. My closest friend, Emily, had been hurt while counseling at basketball camp. She hit her head on the concrete and was taken to Hallock hospital and then rushed to Grand Forks because they thought it was that bad. She was bleeding from her ears and they thought she probably had fractured her skull. This was all I knew last night, and when I heard the news I cried. I was so scared. What would I do if my best friend had brain damage, or if I completely lost her. I didn't think it would be that serious, but I really didn't know. My whole family and Jon huddled and prayed, and then we went to bed. I was doing my best to trust God with all of this, but I realized that it's kind of hard to just say, "God, whatever you're doing through this and whatever your plan is, I trust that it is good." I think that would be really hard to do if I didn't have a firm foundation of faith in God. And this event really reminded me that there are no guarantees in this life. I can't assume that things will remain as they are because life just isn't that way. I was terrified that this would be a major turning point for Emily--that something would change irreversibly. Fortunately it seems she is going to be ok. I got to go visit her in G.F. today. She has been alert through everything and seems like her normal self. Of course this will still be difficult to recover from, but I am so thankful that my dear friend is going to make it through this.
Just a couple days ago I was thinking about close calls and God's grace. 5 years ago I fell on the diving board and hurt my back, but there was nothing near a spinal injury. After Kari's surgery she had a pretty close call. Who knows how many times my family and friends could have been hurt in car accidents. And now this with Emily. It could have been nothing, or it could have been much worse. The bottom line is that God has a plan for everything. Whether we like what he does or what he allows to happen, his plan is always good. "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So that's the news about Emily. Keep her in your prayers--hopefully no more complications will arise and she will be able to recover quickly.

So now I leave for Colorado tomorrow. 21 kids and a couple leaders on a YouthWorks! mission trip to Denver. It should be really great. After that, it's counseling at Jr. High camp, and then Bluewater family camp immediately after that. I'm so excited for all of this. If you think of me, pray for the trip (June 16-25) and Jr. High camp (June 28-July 2).

About Washington, D.C.

2006-05-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Now I shall tell you about my trip to Washington DC that I wrote about almost a month ago before I left. It was pretty awesome. We got to see pretty much all of the monuments, which I thought were really cool. A lot of them had quotes and such engraved into the stone, and it was cool to see evidence of the Christian foundations of our country actually written in stone. My favorites were the WWII memorial and the Lincoln memorial. I also really liked the Holocaust museum. It was very powerful and very sad. I could a lot of the things in there to the plays I've been in, so that was cool. We also had a bunch of workshops and seminars. They were pretty good. I don't know if I really learned a lot in the workshops...maybe a little bit. Mostly it was interesting listening to the opinionated people in my group. One night we got to watch a debate between a liberal and a conservative, which I enjoyed.
The week was really busy without much downtime. I wanted to talk more to my roommates, but I never had a big chunk of time to talk to either of them. I got to know my Roseau friends better though, so that was good. All week I was pretty quiet about my beliefs and never really got into any debates because I didn't have really strong opinions about the things we were talking about. On Wednesday we went to the capital and got to meet with our senators and representatives, and I was going to make myself ask them if they would take any action regarding the war, refugees, and the use of child soldiers in Uganda. But I'm not one who ever speaks up, especially to someone important like that, and I never did. I was pretty discouraged with myself that night, and turned on the relient k song "I'm a little more than useless," because useless was how I felt. But another song on that cd struck me. The lyrics went, "this is how I choose to live: as if I'm jumping off a cliff, knowing that you'll save me..." and "Every breath that I inhale is followed by exhaling, sure as the One who never fails I know will never fail me." I tried to banish fear and live with that total dependence on God. Because for me to speak up or debate is hard. It does take faith in God. I'm not sure of myself at all. But I was headed that night to a topical on the creation/evolution debate, and I was determined to make myself speak up and actually debate on this issue I know so well. And I did debate. It was so fun! I was able to say some pretty good arguments, and maybe slightly sway some people's opinions. I think with that issue people just aren't aware how flawed evolution is and how scientific intelligent design is. I was glad to speak truth.
I didn't really get much other chances to speak out. I had wanted to talk to one of my roommates who is agnostic. I heard her talking to someone else about it and it seemed she was kind of ignoring God because of the hypocrisy she saw around her. I wanted to just tell her not to turn her back on Christ just because of what she saw in those around her who claim to be Christians. She could choose to believe that she doesn't know who God is or what will happen to her when she dies, but the fact remains that Jesus died for her. It's risky to just ignore that when eternity is at stake. She was a very intelligent person, so I wanted to encourage her to check out the Bible and examine Christ for herself instead of judging the religion by what she saw of it in others. I would recommend the book The Case for Christ. (It's a really good book, you should all read it.)
I don't know why I wrote all of that here. But whatever. I think I still will email this girl, so you can pray that it will go over well. It's weird because I hardly know her and I'm sure she's not looking for a sermon. But I keep reading the prophets in the Old Testament--they almost always spoke to an audience that didn't want to hear their message. So, I think I will email her.
So to conclude my rambling, here's another picture.

2006-05-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

I still promise to write about my DC trip. (It was great.) But I don't have time now. I just thought I should post the graduation speech I had to write for English. (I'm not actually giving it at the graduation, but I think I will be reading it in class this week.) So, here it is.

Life involves taking risks. Some risks are good and some are bad. Some are bound to have negative consequences, such as trying drugs, drinking and driving, or having sex outside of marriage. But there are many risks that are worth taking. High school has had its share of risks. They may have included getting out of your comfort zone to befriend someone different from you, standing up for someone, warning someone about a poor decision, starting a conversation with your crush, or doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance in front of the entire school. Though I personally have no experience with the last example, I have found these other risks to be worthwhile. They were scary, uncomfortable, or awkward at the time, and I didn’t know what to expect, but in the end I’m glad I took those risks.

As we graduate, we will have bigger decisions to make, with greater consequences. Each of us will have to choose a path and decide what kind of risks we are willing to take on the way. Most will choose a normal, somewhat easy road—a nice day job with nice pay, living in a nice home with a nice family. It could be pretty nice. But it could be so much better. You could make a difference. You could change history. You could have adventure, significance, purpose, impact. But it takes a risk—stepping out of comfort into the unknown.

What risks are you willing to take in life? What are you willing to give up to achieve a greater purpose? Will you risk having a lower paying job to do something you enjoy? Will you give up your comfort and security in the U.S. to help those less fortunate in a third world country? Will you risk offending someone to keep them from making a bad decision? Will you stand up for what you believe in despite opposition? Or… would you rather just be comfortable.

There are many risks worth taking, but there are some risks you can’t afford to take. After all, the choices you make affect your life, your future, and the lives of everyone around you. Most importantly, your choices now carry on into eternity. You can’t afford to risk where you will go when you die. Perhaps it’s risky in a graduation speech to say “Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven.” In his time, people thought it was risky for him to claim to be God and state, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” But Jesus knew it was truth. Moreover, he knew that God was with him, and through his life, suffering, and death, he would bring salvation and hope to a hopeless world. He also knew that this was not really a risk at all—His victory was certain, and he proved it by rising from the dead. You can have the same fearless resolve when God is on your side. As a song by Consumed puts it, “I can look right past my grave. Nothing to fear—my soul’s been saved.” If you have accepted Jesus’ gift of forgiveness for your sins, you have “Eternal Life Insurance.”

Even if you disagree with me, it’s extremely risky to ignore what Jesus did and what the Bible says. Jesus said, “If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit your own soul in the process?” Jesus talks about the ultimate choice: keeping your life to lose your soul, or losing your life to gain the true and eternal life he offers. I chose the latter—I put my life in the hands of the One who promised to save it. I lost my shallow life and gained a life full of hope and purpose. It’s the best risk I’ve ever taken.

Each of us will take some risks in our lifetime--some good, and some bad. You must be wise. My advice to you is not to be afraid to take risks for things that matter. Take the risk of losing the shallow, comfortable, complacent existence, and strive to really LIVE--with passion, purpose, and hope for eternity.

the end:)

As I wrote this I kept thinking of lots of song lyrics, but I couldn't fit them into my speech except for the Consumed one. (Justin cited my "sweet word choice" in his speech, so I figured I could cite his band.) So here are some of those lyrics.

"This is how I choose to live: As if I'm jumping off a cliff, knowing that you'll save me..." relient k

"Every breath that I inhale is followed by exhaling, sure as the one who never fails I know will never fail me." relient k

"By the wayside we fell. He said it's my way or the highway to hell. It's your decision. Choose it well. He said it's my way or the highway to hell. Which hand holds your soul? Do you want to guess one? If that scares you to death may that be a lesson." relient k

"Have I won monopoly to forfeit my soul?" from company car by switchfoot.

and finally, a verse that I think applies to my generation:

"Young man, it's wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. So banish grief and pain, but remember that youth, with a whole life before it, stil faces the threat of meaninglessness." Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Going to Washington

2006-04-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to blog many times lately, but have been too busy. Today is no exception. I don't have time to write about the things God has been showing me, but after my trip maybe I'll have some chances to write.
In a few hours, I will be on a plane to Washington, D.C. with 23 of my classmates and an organization called Close Up. All week I'll be visiting places in Washington, participating in workshops and debates, and all sorts of interesting stuff. I'll be with kids from several other states, and share a room with two girls from another state. It hasn't quite hit me that I'm going, even though I've been raising money for this for months. But I'm kind of nervous. From the time I decided to go on this trip it was because I thought God could use me and teach me through this kind of experience. My hope has been that I would use the opportunities I have with peers who have other beliefs and backgrounds to share the gospel with them, or somehow be a witness of Christ to them. This scares me. I know that I could have spent this money on a big mission trip--there were several that I thought about--but I could never really feel God telling me that. I still thought he wanted me to go on this trip, even though some of my Christian friends decided not to go. And so, as I planned, I will try to make this into a mission trip, reaching out not to the poor or to the children or to those expecting to hear about God, but to my own peers. This thought seems almost ridiculous to me-- If I don't witness to the people in my school I see every day, how could I be effective with people I see for only a week?
I have prayed for God to prepare me for this trip. I'm trying to trust that he will teach me and use me. It's going to be harder to trust when I'm there and he tells me to speak or do something kind of crazy.
Writing this makes me accountable. Instead of just sitting back and enjoying the trip, I'm going to also be listening for God and looking for opportunities. Then when I get back, maybe I'll have some cool things to write.
Please pray for me this week. I have very little confidence in myself. Hopefully I can at least have confidence in Christ in me. And hopefully he will make this week an awesome experience for me.
Goodbye! I'll be back Saturday. (hopefully in time for prom!)

Something worth shouting

2006-03-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

ISAIAH 40
1"Comfort, comfort my people," says your God. 2"Speak tenderly to Jerusalem. Tell her that her sad days are gone and that her sins are pardoned. Yes, the LORD has punished her in full for all her sins."
3Listen! I hear the voice of someone shouting, "Make a highway for the LORD through the wilderness. Make a straight, smooth road through the desert for our God. 4Fill the valleys and level the hills. Straighten out the curves and smooth off the rough spots. 5Then the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all people will see it together. The LORD has spoken!"
6A voice said, "Shout!"
I asked, "What should I shout?"
"Shout that people are like the grass that dies away. Their beauty fades as quickly as the beauty of flowers in a field. 7The grass withers, and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the LORD. And so it is with people. 8The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever."
9Messenger of good news, shout to Zion from the mountaintops! Shout louder to Jerusalem--do not be afraid. Tell the towns of Judah, "Your God is coming!" 10Yes, the Sovereign LORD is coming in all his glorious power. He will rule with awesome strength. See, he brings his reward with him as he comes. 11He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.
12Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed out the mountains and the hills? 13Who is able to advise the Spirit of the LORD? Who knows enough to be his teacher or counselor? 14Has the LORD ever needed anyone's advice? Does he need instruction about what is good or what is best? 15No, for all the nations of the world are nothing in comparison with him. They are but a drop in the bucket, dust on the scales. He picks up the islands as though they had no weight at all. 16All Lebanon's forests do not contain sufficient fuel to consume a sacrifice large enough to honor him. All Lebanon's sacrificial animals would not make an offering worthy of our God. 17The nations of the world are as nothing to him. In his eyes they are less than nothing--mere emptiness and froth.
18To whom, then, can we compare God? What image might we find to resemble him? 19Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold, overlaid with gold, and decorated with silver chains? 20Or is a poor person's wooden idol better? Can God be compared to an idol that must be placed on a stand so it won't fall down?
21Have you never heard or understood? Are you deaf to the words of God--the words he gave before the world began? Are you so ignorant? 22It is God who sits above the circle of the earth. The people below must seem to him like grasshoppers! He is the one who spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them. 23He judges the great people of the world and brings them all to nothing. 24They hardly get started, barely taking root, when he blows on them and their work withers. The wind carries them off like straw.
25"To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?" asks the Holy One.
26Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out one after another, calling each by its name. And he counts them to see that none are lost or have strayed away.
27O Israel, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? 28Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. 29He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. 30Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. 31But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

When I am weak, then I am strong

2006-02-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's church service was one of those you don't easily forget. It started out totally normal. My family led worship. I played my flute...my heart wasn't there. I wasn't thinking about the words or praising God. I was just trying to figure out how to get my flute in tune with the piano. After that a lady sang a song I really like and then Mike talked about our upcoming missions conference. Then we had our prayer time. There were a few requests from the congregation...nothing too major. We prayed, and then it was time for offering. No one went up to play piano or anything. But the ushers came up and started passing the offering plates. A certain lady's name was down on the bulletin to play offeratory...she came forward with tears in her eyes, picked up the mic, and explained that it was a misprint. She wasn't told to play this Sunday. But it was misprinted for a reason. She said sometimes people sit through prayer time and they know they should say something, but sometimes the most important requests don't come out......That woman stepped up on the platform, still talking, with tears in her eyes, and admitted that her marriage needs prayer. She took off her jacket that she had kept on, not wanting to stay after the service, not being comfortable there....and she knelt down and prayed that she would give her life 100% to God. To an outsider it might seem this was some sort of drama to put herself in the spotlight, but she said, and I believe, that this was one of the hardest things she would ever do. This was what she had to do to take of the mask that said everything was all right, and with the church's help, to save her marriage. Two other women came up, put their hands on her shoulders, and also prayed. Eventually she sat down. But up came a man, Ed, and thanked her for her boldness, and said that this is what the church is for. He invited anyone else who had a burden to come forward because we wouldn't judge them. This would bring healing. And then he sat down. I watched the pastor as he just sat there a little longer than I expected. How do you preach after that? He turned his mic on and said, "I'm reluctant to get up because I feel like someone else is being called to come forward. Finally he got up and set down his bible on the platform. He said, "I didn't get rid of the book; I got rid of the sermon notes." He said he had planned to preach about hypocrisy--putting on an act, wearing masks-- but he still felt there were people in this church who needed to come forward and take off the masks they had been wearing. He sat down and said he would wait to hear what God told him to do next.
A moment later, a lady I didn't remember seeing before came forward and confessed something and asked for prayer. Then another lady who had been in our church for many years come forward and explained she had been attacked with doubts and needed prayer that her faith would stand firm. Another woman came and admitted a fear she had been hiding, a man confessed and apologized for the ways he had talked to and treated certain people. A woman admitted she had bought into the lie that Christians need to look like they're all together. She admitted that she was really suffering and needed help and prayers. One after another people came forward in tears, completely broken, and were freed from their chains. Others came forward as they spoke just to comfort them, pray for them, or offer advice or encouragement. Healing took place in our church.
Eventually the pastor felt it was time to stand up and close, but he invited anyone else who wanted to take off a mask or get rid of a burden to come forward after the close and anyone who felt led to pray with them to come forward to do so. And the pastor explained that a couple days ago he had handed in an outline of the sermon notes just so something could be put in the bulletin. He really hadn't known what he was going to say, so he just hoped (I assume he prayed) that God would give him the right words. Well, God certainly worked out the whole situation.
As our pastor prayed in closing he said something about how maybe this is the type of thing that starts a revival. We don't know, but we hope that's the case. I dohn't think much about the possibility of a revival....I'm not sure why...Is it that I don't hav the faith to believe it's possible? But as I drove my sister home she said she thought this would begin revival. That got me thinking.

Is this what the church needs? To just become real? We wear so many masks. There is no way the church will grow when we can't even be real. No one likes hypocrites. No one who is a different person on Sunday than the rest of the week will do much good for God. Is this what we need most? When people take off their masks and become real, even in their hurt, guilt, and confusion, then we can help each other, and in our weakness we can show Christ's strength. God prefers to use the broken and the weak, the ones that come to the realization that they are nothing without him, because it's through them that he can show how strong and awesome he is. I don't know if that will bring revival; I can hope. I know, for me, I want to be real with everyone. No more wearing masks around my church or the nonchristians around me. The masks I sometimes wear say I have an awesome relationship with God and I have it all together. Actually, I have a lot of doubts and it's hard for me to really pray. Think about the masks you might wear. Drop your burdens and Jesus' feet. And, with me, get rid of the attitude that you can do things yourself or that you deserve glory for anything. Realize you're nothing without God, and praise him for who he is.

One of the women who went forward yesterday put a Bible story in a new light for me. The Israelites had just been delivered from the Egyptians. God had answered their prayer and had led them out of Egypt. Deliverance! But then they found themselves at the Red Sea with no where to go, and behind them came the Egyptians in their chariots. At this point the only thing they could do was stand there, looking up to God. And that's exactly the point he wants people at, because that's when he has the chance to show his power by parting the waters. When they prayed to him he said, "The LORD will fight for you. You need only to be still." He parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could cross, and when their enemies came after them, the water closed in on them. This event gave glory to God because not only did the Israelites come to trust him, but the Egyptians also saw his power.
This story speaks a lot to me. It reminds me or a situation I was in a while back where I had been sure that God had led me to this place, but it just didn't feel right. I began to doubt it and doubt that he would bring me through it. But I cried out to him and he did bring me through it. He showed me that it was all a part of his plan.
This story also reinforces that lesson I keep coming back to: when you feel inadequate and weak and unworthy and incapable, that's when God can use you most. When you are weak, then you are strong. Today I read in Isaiah that God despises human greatness. I hadn't thought of it that way before. God doesn't need us to have it all together. He hates when we think we are great by our own doing. Sure he wants greatness for us; he tells us to do our best. But more importantly, he wants the glory for it. So it is better to be a beggar on the streets, preaching atop a cardboard box than to be a millionaire who credits his success to himself. God wants us to come to a place where wh realize we are nothing without him. That is where his glory will shine through.

prayer

2006-02-01T21:08:00.000-08:00

A friend asked me "What do you feel when you pray?" I couldn't really answer right then...but after thinking about it I realize that my prayers usually feel like one-sided conversations or, even worse, just nothing, nothing more than some religious ritual. Yes, Sometimes I talk to God and know he's listening and believe he will answer. Sometimes I even know what he's telling me, even without him actually speaking. But other times I pray and ask him to speak to me; I want him to answer, but I just can't hear him. Or I pray about what's on my mind and completely forget to listen to what he wants me to hear. Or I just say words, not even really realizing that I'm talking to my Creator. And other times I start out praying right, but I wander off into other thoughts until I'm in my own little world, not even thinking about God, much less talking to him. This is not good. Why is it so hard to stay focused the One who deserves our utmost reverence? How do I so easily forget the profound truth that I can actually talk to God, and he listens?

Attitude is so important. I need to remember that Christianity is a relationship, not a religion. Actions are worthless if the heart doesn't back them up. So praying without really meaning it is pointless and meaningless. And it's a two-way relationship so it should be a two-sided conversation. I need to balance my prayers to give thanks, offer requests, and listen. But it's hard to have a conversation with someone you can't see or hear. It's so hard to hear him. Lately, especially, I've had so many questions for him. I wish so badly I could just talk to him face to face or hear his voice and know exactly what he wants for me. But I never hear him. I try so hard to hear him sometimes, and I just don't.

It's really hard when I can't hear him. At times like this I'm supposed to trust. But what about when you don't even know what to trust? What about when you don't know which way to go and he's not telling you? I guess then you just have to trust that he'll show you at the right time. But it's hard. How can I really know what is truth and what his will for me is if he won't speak to me?

Last night I was thinking about all these things and starting to get discouraged. But I was reminded of the book of Job that I had just finished reading. Job had a lot of questions for God too. He cried out to God. He longed to just talk to him face to face and know why God would allow him, a righteous man, to suffer so terribly. Finally God spoke to him. He didn't answer Job's questions, but instead threw some questions at Job. Were you there when the world was made? Do you understand how everything I created works? Have you seen the amazing things I've done? He speaks to Job for three chapters. Every time I read this part of the book, I finish and think, wait, isn't there more? Isn't God going to tell Job that he wasn't punishing him, but was testing him? Isn't he going to tell about how Satan asked God to allow this suffering? But no. God didn't have to tell Job that. He doesn't have to give an explanation for his actions. He's God. That should be enough. If we can't understand everything he created, how can we expect to understand God or why he does what he does? And why should we think that we know what God should and shouldn't do? It should be enough just to realize that he's God and accept what he does.

Who's that girl with the crazy hair?

2006-01-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

I did these self-portraits in art, the first one a year ago and the second one last fall. I haven't decided on good titles for either. (Comment if you have any ideas.)

To Date or Not to Date, that is the question...

2006-01-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

That is the question that has plagued my mind for a few months. For most of my teen years I figured I wouldn't start dating until college. This was never very hard because no one even expressed any interest in me. However, by this summer I knew it would be quite hard to keep from dating this year. I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (an excellent book by the way, no matter what your views on dating are) and I became somewhat determined to keep from moving beyond "just friends." But in December I was bombarded with the most romantic thing I could have imagined (ask me about it sometime if you don't know what I'm talking about) and I was forced to decide whether I should date. I prayed really hard for a couple weeks. (I had already been praying about it, but not so urgently.) At first my prayers were like, "God, I don't know what to do. How can I tell him that I can't date? Or should I actually consider dating?" It wasn't until exactly one month ago that my thought process changed and I started seriously praying, "Do you want me to date? Please tell me what is best for me to do, because I don't know. I will date if you tell me to. I will say no if you tell me to." As I prayed about it, I started to realize that dating could be good for us, if we kept God at the center. And so on December 23 I went on my first date, and today I said yes to going to prom. (eee, exciting!) But I still pray about whether this is what God wants us to do.

I've wanted for a while to post "My Reasons for Not Dating." I wrote it over a year ago, and looking back at it I see some really good points, and I also realize some were a little naive. But I think it's good even for people who are dating to look at things like this and make sure their relationship is good and God-honoring. So, following in the footsteps of my brother, I guess I'll give my reasons for not dating even though I am dating. Read with an open mind.
My Reasons for Not Dating- 9/5/04
1. Dating should be solely to find a husband/wife. There is very little chancwe of me finding my hsuband in high school and even if I did, we would have no place to take the relationship because so much of our lives are still unknown and we would be too young to even consider marriage.
2. Dating takes too much time. I am already too busy to do all the things I want to do. i should use this time I am single to grow closer to God, figure out exactly who I am, and prepare for my future career.
3. There's a good chance my relationship with him could take priority over any of my other relationships--even my relationship with Jesus. That's just plain wrong.
4. Dating would result in heartbreak. Yes, I know there are some lucky coulples who stay together from junior high to a long happy marriage, but most people aren't that lucky the first time. I have seen people break up after months or years together and it's always hard for one or both people. Even for those that do stay together, there are conflicts and complications in their relationships that are hard to get through. And the longer a couple stays together, the harder it is for them to stay pure--physically nad mentally. Which brings me to my next point.
5. I will stay sexually pure until marriage. Yes, I know a lot of dating couples don't have sex before marriage, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are sexually pure. There may be lust and temptations to go to "the next level" and it only gets harder as the relationship progresses. There may be tension between the two about how far they should go. Often, dating couples do more touching than talking. I don't want that. Even for the strongest Christians, the temptation will come, and I want to be like Joseph who ran as fast as he could from temptation.
6. You ask "How will you ever find someone to marry if you don't date?" Friendships. Friends don't have to look and act perfect around each other. They can be themselves and really get to know the other person. I don't need to date to get to know a guy.
7. I will not date until I have a pretty good idea that this is someone I could marry. I need to know his heart--know where he stands with God and if our personalities work together--before I get too close to him. There is no point going into a relationship where marriage isn't part of the plan.
8. I need to trust God's timing. Sometimes I feel like I should have a boyfriend, but God hasn't given me the opportunity. If he doesn't drop it in my lap, he probably has better things for me now. When he decides to, he will send my prince charming to me. I won't even have to search for him. I should trust God with every part of my life. He created romance and if I wait for his timing he will give me a more romantic love story than I could have imagined.
[8.5] I have seen people depressed about not having a boy/girlfriend. 'Why me?" consumes their mind and they are never happy with the good lives they have. This is one of Satan's weapons! Satan wants you to feel sorry for yourself. He wants you to be angry at, or better yet, ignore God. He wants you to be so desperate for that feeling of love that you will fall for anyone. I wish Christians would wake up and accept the lot God has given them instead of taking charge and dating people who God doesn't intend for them to marry.
9. Divorce rates are rising. Why? Because the psychology for teens growing up is "Just have fun. if it doesn't work out, just break up." I know people don't go into marriage thinking, "Let's see how long we can go without divorcing," but these people aren't equipped for a long-lasting relationship. When they're dating, if they have a big fight, it's over. They don't feel the need to try to make up. So they don't get the practice of reconciling after a fight or communicating clearly in a misunderstanding. It carries on into marriage and couples have a lot of trouble when they come to such conflicts.
Also, the dating secne is all about impressions. People don't tell each other the whole truth and don't show each other their true selves. They try extra hard to look perfect and don't show their faults. in marriage, you can't hide these things. So those who never got to know their spouse as a friend before marriage are going to find this isn't the same person they fell in love with.
If you first get to know someone as a friend and spend your time together talking instead of touching, you will know their true self and you will get used to solving conflicts.
10. This kind of goes along with that. Dating is very often staarted by a fist impression of attraction. But beauty doesn't count for much and neither does talent. If a relationship is based on attraction alone, it will not last. It just can't. There is so much more to love than what you get from a first impression. True love at first sight simply isn't possible. It's not bad to be attracted to someone. it just shouldn't be the only realon for dating.
11. Dating won't satisfy you. No human relationship can satisfy that deep longing inside to be loved. Many people go into relationships expecdting that the emptiness iniside them will be filled. I don't deny that it helps to have a loving relationship, but no one except God can fill that void inside you. God is the only one who makes us complete. I believe the main reason God gave us the gifts of romance, marriage, and sex was to show an analogy of his love for us. Just as a man and woman gecome one in marriage, God wants us to become one with him. Jesus is crazy in love with each one of us. It will be the most romantic thing ever when Jesus finishes building our future home and comes back to sweep us off our feet and take us to live in an intimate relationship with him forever.
So, I got a little off the subject. But my point is, if any relationship becomes greater than your relationship with God, it will not sxtaisfy you, but it will hurt you.

Looking back on those reasons, I had to admit that if I'm keeping Christ at the center of the relationship, most of these are not really concerns. I realized that dating can actually be good. Still, I wasn't sure if it was the best course of action. I've been "anti-dating" for so long, and I've seen so many people stunble because of dating relationships. During Christmas break as I wrestled with what I was doing, I stumbled upon a little added section in my bible titled "Making Choices About Sensitive Issues." It was a list of questions based on verses from 1 Corinthians 9 and 10. This helped me a lot, and I hope you can take something from it in making your own tough decisions.

If I choose one action over another...
-Does it help my witness for Christ? (1 Cor. 9:19-22)
-Am I motivated by a desire to help others know Christ? (9:23, 10:33)
-Does it help me to do my best? (9:25)
-Is it against a specific command in scripture and would thus cause me to sin? (10:12)
-Is it the best and most beneficial course of action? (10:22,33)
-Am I thinking only of mmyself, or do I truly care about the other person? (10:24)
-Am I acting lovingly or selfishly? (10:28-31)
-Does it glorify God? (10:31)
-Will it cause someone else to sin? (10:32)

I decided to go ahead and date because I felt God was saying that as long as I kept seeking his guidance as I had been doing, this relationship would bring him glory. It still feels weird to think I'm actually dating, and I still don't think dating is always a good idea. I've seen a lot of Christians fall into unhealthy relationships. If God is not at the center, and if the couple isn't praying about it, the relationship will fail.
So, I guess just take what you can from what I've written.

Seeing the Awesomeness of God

2005-12-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful thing when God takes us out of our apathy into the light where we can see his love and his beauty. This is what he's done for me. For the first time in a while I can honestly say "I love God!" He is so good and so faithful. It's awesome how he works everything together for good. No, I'm not saying my life is all good. It's stressful and confusing and hard. But he gives so many blessings and helps me get through it and enjoy it. He's satisfies. He makes life fulfilling. Today he has made me happy, not because of any specific thing he's done, but because he helped me see how awesome he is.
Hallelujah! Praise the LORD! Stand in awe of him. Think about the depth of his love. Remember his power and holiness and the beauty of creation. Consider the amazing truth that he is mindful of mankind though we are like grass compared to him- here today and gone tomorrow. He knows your thoughts and works every detail of your life out for the good of those who love him. He pursues you.

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. ”- Luke 1:46-47, 49

A few favorite verses

2005-12-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

2 Timothy 2:22 ~ Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

Romans 12:1-2 ~ Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Hebrews 12:1-2 ~ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

1 Peter 2:12 ~ Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Complacency

2005-11-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

Last week a friend told me that a certain guy in my grade had called me a religious zealot. I was pretty surprised to hear this because I don't have any classes with this guy and have never had a religious conversation with him in my life. I don't know the context of the conversation--whether he was offended by something or just making an observation--so I'm not sure what to think of this. When I got home from school I looked up zealot:
a. One who is zealous, especially excessively so.
b. A fanatically committed person.
Zealous is defined as "marked by active interest and enthusiasm" or enthusiastic, fervent, ardent, passionate, obsessed, devoted...wild-eyed (yeah, that sounds like me)
So at first I was feeling pretty good about this. This is what I wanted--to be seen as someone who's passionate about God. I was going to write a blog about how Christians are afraid to be zealous but that's what God has called us to. And certainly that's true. But just being seen as a good Christian or a "religious zealot" isn't the point. That's not what we should strive for. I'm sure a lot of the Pharisees were seen as religious zealots, but like Jesus said, they were like whitewashed tombs--looking good on the outside, but everything inside is dead, ugly, and rotting.
I'm really good at looking like a super Christian. I don't fall for the obvious sins, like lying, cheating, gossiping, saying God's name in vain. And I shouldn't. I've had many years to mature and grow in Christ and I'm not tempted toward those things very often. And I've learned to be more bold in my faith. I write essays on Christian topics and use Christian themes in my art projects. I wear Christian t-shirts and invite people to Christian events. I even lead the swim team in prayer and devotions. These things might lead a person to think I'm pretty zealous in my faith. But these are all actions. These don't deal much with my heart or with my relationship with God. And if my heart isn't in the right place, I'm living like the Pharisees.
It's not that I'm trying to impress people. And it's not that I've been trying to hide sin inside. I just haven't been as zealous as people might think.
Today finally reopened my Bible after several days of being "too busy for devotions." I started praying and I saw the names of some friends on a prayer list. I hadn't prayed for them for a while. In fact I hadn't prayed for much of anything lately except for my concerns for my own life and my friend's surgery. I had been so focused on myself that I hadn't even thought about these nonchristian friends.
I know they aren't Christians. I know that what they believe is lies. I know that if they don't find the true Christ they will go to hell. And yet I sit with them at lunch every day and don't say a word to keep them from this impending doom. Why? My first thought was fear. Maybe I'm just afraid of rejection or of complicating their contented lives. This would be ridiculous--I should be much more afraid of what will happen if no one talks to them about Christ. But I don't think fear is even the issue. I think I've been so focused on myself that I haven't even cared about them. I haven't even thought about them. I've been striving to excel in school and swimming and music and art, and trying to look good on the outside. I've been putting a lot into relationships, so much that I push Christ out. And all the while I've been feeling pretty good about myself, taking in all the compliments about my writing, art, swimming, and I was pretty proud of myself when I was called a religious zealot.
God, save me from this complacency! I've lost the concern for unbelievers' souls. I've been striving for the wrong things. I've missed the point, lost the plot of my life. Time with you has been at the bottom of my priority list and our conversations have been pretty onesided as I don't take the time to listen. Help me not to be satisfied with the way I am but to strive to give you more control. Help me to have genuine concern for the people around me. Help me to focus on you, talk to you, and listen to you. Help me to live for your purposes, not mine.
These thoughts bring a song to mind. We talked about this song at Lake Bronson at our youth group retreat right before Chris (the youth director) moved. The words are pretty deep, and the song is kind of long, but take what you can from it.

Lost the Plot
By Steve Taylor, Peter Furler
When you come back again
Would you bring me something from the fridge?
Heard a rumor that the end is near,
But I just got comfortable here.
Sigh.Let's be blunt.
I'm a little distracted.What do you want?
Headaches and bad faith
Are all that I've got.
First I misplaced the ending,
Then I lost the plot.
Out among the free-range sheep
While the big birds sharpen their claws.
For a time we stuck with the shepherd,
But You wouldn't play Santa Claus.
Sigh.Let's be blunt.
We're a little distracted.What do you want?
Once we could follow.Now we cannot.
You would not fit our image,
So we lost the plot.
Once we could hear You,
Now our senses are shot.
We've forgotten our first love.
We have lost the plot. Lost the plot.
When I saw You for the first time,
You were hanging with a thief.
And I knew my hands were dirty,
And I dropped my gaze.
Then You said I was forgiven
And You welcomed me with laughter.
I was happy ever after
I was counting the days
When You'd come back again.
We'll be waiting for You.
When You comin' back again?
We'll be ready for You.
Maybe we'll wake up when
You come back again.
Lies. Let's be blunt.
We're a little unfaithful.
What do you want?
Are you still listenin',
'Cause we're obviously not.
We've forgotten our first love.
We have lost the plot.
And why are You still calling?
You forgave, we forgot.
We're such experts at stalling
That we've lost the plot.

When I look at the Stars....

2005-09-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

So, have you heard Switchfoot's song "Stars," or better yet, have you seen the music video? It's the coolest music video I have seen in my life. Anyway, the words to that song have come up in my mind several times in the past weeks. It's about seeing God's creation and gaining a better understanding of who you are and who God is. Tonight when I saw the northern lights dancing, I felt the same way again.

I love looking at the stars. Lying down by the one you love and just looking at the night sky, enjoying each others' company and admiring God's creation is one of the most romantic things I can think of. But even without ever having that experience, I have thoroughly enjoyed looking at the stars. I remember last summer lying down on the dock at bluewater. The lake was so calm that you could see the reflection of every star in the water. And this year, I remember looking at the northern lights and then staying up around the campfire for 3 more hours, seeing shooting stars and realizing how much the milky way had rotated around. I remember lying in the north field at Lake Bronson with all the sr. high girls seeing the northern lights dancing across the entire sky in bright greens. Last week in the pitch black our youth group went out there and the clouds were just rolled away as if God decided to give us a few minutes to view his masterpiece. (mike pointed out "Ursilla major".) I remember when tyler would take us "the long way" home from youth group to get far enough from the light to see the stars, and countless times when the family has driven out to see northern lights.

Like I said, I love looking at the stars. It's so beautiful and it puts everything back into perspective. God's still there, He's bigger than you could possibly imagine, and he loves you and cares about every aspect of your life more than anyone on earth ever could. He's powerful and in control. I think it's so cool that God can show us these things in his creation every day.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech. Night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard." (Psalm 19)

When I look at all this, I remember why God deserves our worship, praise and adoration. He created so much beauty that we humans will never even see it all. Who knows how big this universe is? Has anyone seen to the edges of it? There's so much out there that even the most powerful telescope can't see. And all of it is so beautiful. And on this earth there is unspeakable beauty, and still more yet to be seen. Everything is so complex and so diverse. And with all our technology we still cannot see the smallest of atoms. Why did God bother to create all these things? Why make more than a couple dozen stars to light our way? Why make so many colors? Why create so much beauty that we will never see it all? Why create beauty in the first place when so few people appreciate it and even fewer praise him for it? The only reason is that he loves us deeply. He could have made this life extremely dull for us. But he created beauty and amazing wonders that we will never finish studying and mysteries that we will never quite figure out. He created it for our enjoyment, knowing full well that we would forget him and turn our backs on him again and again. Praise God that, though we are so small and seemingly insignificant, he sets us apart from all creationg and calls us his masterpiece. The King of this vast universe has adopted us as his sons and daughters.

Sometimes it amazes me that any person could look at the creation around us and believe there is no God, or that they could see what He's created for our enjoyment and assume he has no relevance in their lives or simply doesn't care or is out of control. Look at the stars and know that God made them all for you.

We are the salt of the earth

2005-08-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

Last week I went with some good friends to the Guthrie Theatre. We got to see 2 plays. The first was a comedy, and I, since I am not and never wish to be a theatre critic, thought it was excellent. The second play we saw was a very serious play written by the actors who performed it. It didn't have one plot; it was a juxtaposition of many different scenes, dances, letters, poems, things I didn't understand, and things I wish they would have left out. The play was about a lot of things, but mostly it was about war and the effects it has on the world. Several times the characters seemed so sad and completely hopeless...they tried to forget their pain by seeking pleasure or just ignoring the suffering around them. But eventually they realized it didn't work...this world is still an awful place. Some characters even wished for death, thinking it would be better than the life they were living.

All through the play I was realizing that a lot of people live this way. I don't usually see it. I'm off in my own little sheltered Christian world, enjoying life. When something not so great happens I have people to go to and I know that God will always be there for me. But what about those who don't know God? Where are they to turn when they lose loved ones or realize nothing they have tried has fulfilled them? They lose all hope. They don't know what to trust. They don't know what will happen to them when they die. They can't see anything good in this life. They seek happiness in pleasure, success, or ignorance, but it doesn't work. They think that life is so bad that it couldn't possibly get worse. When they finally realize that nothing on earth can fulfill them, they hope death will, only to find that they missed the point of life and a terrible eternity awaits them. It's so sad! So much of the world around me doesn't know the peace I know. They don't have the security of knowing where they're going when they die or the hope of knowing it will be better than anything on earth. They don't understand joy or contentment; they can't see the good things God has given us. The things they put their trust in let them down. They don't have a purpose; life is meaningless without Christ.

Our world needs God! We need to be aware of this fact as we live our lives. We need to stop ignoring the needs around us. People need Christ desperately even though they think they don't want him. It's not easy, but we need to share him with others and let people know what he's done in our lives. We can't worry about offending them; they need Jesus. We are the salt of the earth--the only thing that can keep it from spoiling. Don't live like them, seeking pleasure or losing hope. Find your hope and joy and purpose in Christ, and share it with the world.

The Choice

2005-07-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to paint this mural at a youth center in International Falls on my mission trip a couple weeks ago. It was really cool how God planned it all ahead of time by giving me the idea and bringing me to a place where they could use it. It was also very cool that the YouthWorks staff gave me charge of painting whatever I wanted inside.
This mural has a powerful message. You are faced with a choice: life with Christ or life without him which will lead to spiritual death. You can either stay in the darkness where no one will see the junk in your life, or you can give up that junk and surrender to Jesus. He will forgive your sins, no matter how many or how bad. ("As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12) He will take away your guilt and fear. Through him alone do you find real joy and peace and purpose. He can free you from your slavery to sin. Jesus offers true life. He is the only way to heaven, the Truth, and the Life. Life with him isn't always easy, but it's so much better than living it on your own.

This is the most important decision you'll make. It's your eternity.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes[trusts] in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Hear, Do, Know

2005-06-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

I was reading the blog of someone I don't know this morning, and something hit me. He quoted Elisabeth Elliot:
"The order of the Christian assignment is: hear, do, know. If we hear the commandments and obey them, the Father will make himself known to us."

Hear, do, know. This should be so simple, but I think a lot of Christians, including myself, are trying to hear, know, and then do. We think we have to have this spiritual experience with God, and then once we know him well we will start witnessing and getting rid of the sin in our lives. But how can we really know God if we don't obey him? When we take risks and serve him we discover so much more about his love and power and provision. And obeying God is the best test of our love for him.

"Those who obey my commandments are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them, and I will love them. And I will reveal myself to each one of them." John 14:21

True beauty

2005-05-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. That is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.” (1Peter 3:3-5, NLT)

This is an important thing to remember in a world full of girls who feel they have to be picture perfect to be loved. Sometimes I get caught in this trap or get jealous of those who get noticed because of their looks. But I need to remember that my outward appearance doesn't matter so much. I shouldn't waste my time and money trying to look good to impress guys. I don't want that shallow kind of attention anyway. I want a guy who looks past the outward appearance and searches for inner beauty. Someone who can overlook the hotties, the flirts, and the social butterflies and see the beauty in me. I want my beauty to be much more than skin-deep; something that only those wise enough to look for it will find.
Girls, don't dress immodestly or spend loads of time and money on your appearance. You don't want to cause your brothers in Christ to stumble or give a false impression of who you are. Let your personality, your gifts, your faith and your love be your beauty. Don't be jealous of those girls who get all the attention. Your time will come.
Guys, don't settle for shallow girls that are trying to impress you more than God. This may sound cheesy, but look for the true beauty inside.

Hey Yo

2005-02-13T14:06:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. Welcome to my blog. I've been thinking about getting a blog for a while, but finally I actually took the time to start one. At first I was hesitant to get a blog because I'm really self-conscious about people reading what I write. But occasionally I have a profound thought that I would love to share with everyone. So the next time I have a burning desire to tell the world something I can write it in here.
I was inspired to get a blog by reading two really good ones that have had an effect on my life. I really look forward to whenever Tyler posts because his blog always makes me laughor cry and teaches me or reminds me of something. I also like reading Bethany Dillon's journal on her website because she has such a heart for God. I hope something I say will apply to your life. I don't want to make this blog a boring story of my life. I can do that in my own journals.